Thursday, April 23, 2009

IGNORE IT...That's what they all say...

A student of TISS was gang raped by six men…nothing new…nothing sensational…just another regular occurrence down the road…going by the statistics…it might be happening somewhere right now!

And what can I do about it?

Or can ANYONE do anything about it!

She will always be the victim, the rapist is never the one blamed!

She must have done something, she must be wearing a too-much-revealing dress, she might have gestured in a suggestive way, she might have smiled, talked or passed a glance in an inviting manner!

She wanted it…she had it coming to her!

How can wearing a dress, smiling around or maybe even flirting be same as saying 'Come and rape me!'

What kind of a mind functions behind such inferences?!

And if that's not enough, she is now…IMPURE!

That's all that is about her, everyone wants to be the first and the only one and now that it is no longer preserved, she is no longer considered to have anything human left in her.

She is a news, to sensationalize the gossips, to liven up the newspapers!

The more of it, the better.

Nothing would be more exciting than the minutest details of the ordeal(for her).

Her identity would be the icing on the cake.

This mentality is what the Mumbai Mirror cashed upon. Publishing her FIR, giving out every detail about her baring her name, staying just in limits lawfully yet exploiting every moral obligation.

There have been protestations, blogs(this one included), people voicing their fierce disapproval  but that's about it!

The harm is done. If the original wound wasn't bad enough, it has now been scratched upon more than once, grossly, thoughtlessly, inhumanly, perhaps never to be healed.

I wonder if in all this hue and cry, she lies somewhere, forgotten.

People are speculating upon limits of freedom of press and their moral duties.

She, as a individual, will stop mattering before long.

Everyone will move on when her life has been brought to a standing halt.

Whom can she turn for comfort, an assurance of her being as pristine as she was before when she has most probably been shunned by her own kith and kin…

It's the press that is being blamed but what led to it?

What kind of upbringing ingrains in the minds that it is supposed to be this way.

That this is the ultimate way out for everything, to give a vent to the frustration of a 'no', a let out for the anger at their being futile, a means of exercising control, something to assure them of their 'virility' to gain back their pride, a punishment to her for talking too much, showing too much, for trying to be a independent human, for being there when they happened to be in a mood for fun!

What was it that made this a universal phenomenon?

Happening in every street, mentioned in every journal, reported on every channel, encompassing in its clutches everyone from a six month child to a eighty years old  lady!

And how to undo it?

How to redefine and restructure something that has been handed down since generations!

Something that lives in every mind, perhaps hidden in its deep crevasses, unrecognized, unacknowledged, bursting forth in unguarded moments, as a subtle threat, as the ultimate way of retribution, something to make her regret through her life, something to make her accept her subordinate status, her fragility, something that will stamp that authority on her for ever and prove them the true symbol of manhood! Restore back their pride…

How to initiate the process of sensitizing?

How to make them understand the gravity, the trauma of it when all who don't do it, laugh about it?

And it's not just them, there are them of her kind for whom it’s a matter of mirth…the 'molestation thingy'…because this is all a feministic issue really!

Something they themselves and the ones in their know, the ones for whom they care are somehow excluded!

And what can she do to protect herself?

Or what can anyone do for that matter?

What could the father of that 15 year old do when she was dragged out of the train and raped on gun point by 4 men…

This reminds me of all the travels I have taken alone or with my friends…what can anyone do in the face of it…all of us are living counting on pure luck…that it won't happen to us…

I am afraid, suddenly reluctant to go anywhere, to trust anyone…it is short lived I know, life doesn't and can't stop. I will resort to my reckless self once again, I don't want to miss out more on my life, I can't stop being me and this is not trying to be foolishly brave( a notion frequently voiced…), I can't be a miserably dependant creature…I guess that's what the price they paid for this…yet, I can't see anything that I can, or anyone, can do about it…we all are just moving on…oblivious yet even more aware with every passing moment, of the ubiquitous peril…

I wish I could figure it all out.

I wish I could understand why.

I wish I could tell her she is still herself.

I wish I could kill them all.

I wish I could end this.

I wish I could do something….

 

24 comments:

Shalu said...

I am speechless...U have said it all. I may say the same thing in other words...But the fact remains the same: Will this really ring a bell any where?
Urs is a 'brave' attempt to write about this 'tabooed' rape 'thingy'!
Just be prepared for being charged as a feminist, that's what feminism is defined as : 'A girl speaking her mind aloud when she's either not supposed to speak or speak what 'they' want to her!
It was sad...very sad!
See the irony, I'll still say great job! :(

shubham said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karthik Vaidyanath said...

BOLD is the word...
It was indeed a slap in the face of the Indian media. I agree that they always end up adding ghee to the fire, miseries galore!

Commending someone is a tough job, but just for once(consider urself lucky),
you've set an example for the meeker(I'm waiting for my death call) sex to open out their minds!

Naga M Reddy said...

kuch to kar sakte hain yaar.... koyi to raasta hoga.... I am not sure what it can be. But one thing I can think off is, may be punishing the guys severely of some use. As you know many times because the one is so and so, he escapes from law. If we can do anything about this, it will be of real use. And one more thing is police plays major rule in this, like from in the Town from wher I hail, there were two such cases, happened in mid-day time, in which, Auto drivers were the culprits.. Now there the rule is that on an Auto except driver there should not be any of his friends. Many times they stop autos and check the passengers.

This is not so great solution. Big solution is to change the mind set of so called MEN. And its subjective issue and needs to be dealt with different approach.

shubham said...

compassionate.. i felt it :( ..
as far as i cud figure it out.. there can be only 2 ways.. either remove the taboo from girl and plzz STOP calling her the victim...
or back to the era when society had their morals and values exactly defined (this does not mean that rape is doubltfully immoral today)....

Sandeep Mishra said...

Whooofff... you reminded me of our hours long argument over these things, perhaps till 5 in d morning... I think copy pasting that chat would sound something similar to this post, except the 'case' u quoted here.
As regards my views over your VIEWS, I see lots of 'socially aware' readers expressing their FEELINGS for the MEEKER sex. Just to keep the STRONGER sex in race, I want to make a heartfelt WISH that GOD makes US prone to THEM for as long as every creature in the MEEKER sex comes n rapes US at least once. WE want to feel THEIR pain(not that it'll really b a pain to US :D) and show OUR REGRET for OUR crimes :( :( :(

swapnil said...

I hope your post, as you wished it to, forces people to rethink..
But i keep wondering, even if it does ring a bell somewhere, how long will it be before people forget that there was even a bell!!
For some days, this will be all over the place..news channels..newspapers..
blogs..forums..people pledging to do something about it..and then..we wait for it to happen again..to restart the process..just to prove to ourselves that we are not what they are..but arent we??

thebigbandtheory said...

I could just say that the media is responsible for it all. But, though there is a fair amount of irresponsible press coverage for us to contend with, we must never forget that it is the cracks in our social system that are responsible for both, the crimes you describe, and the blase attitude towards them. It is a vicious circle that requires the enlightened public to take a bold stand. You have set an example, and we are all thankful for that.

Shweta Rao said...

there isnt anything left to comment, you ve said it all!
proud of you dear girl!

Nik said...

Prachi,....i must say u joined d league. u wanna know what i mean, do read ds -
http://thesoulwords.blogspot.com/2009/01/its-not-our-faultpart-i.html

this is on my blog..... i m so very happy that its nt just me!! i loved your post.... and i so wish to see u at my blog very soon....

do read both the parts. and, if u wanna see how many of us are united, see d comments on this-
http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2009/01/its-not-our-faultpart-i.html

and d second part -

http://weandwords.blogspot.com/2009/01/its-not-our-faultpart-ii.html


i strongly want u to read dem...and do reply..

tc.. nik

Nik said...

infact i wud like evry1 who liked prachis post to got to my blog ASAP! :|

Anirudh Arun said...

I agree the 'that molestation thingy' statements are callous and insensitive... And the media sensationalizing such stuff is pitiable indeed. But definitely, the 'I want to kill them all' isn't the stance to take! Not everyone is evil. The few who are ought to be punished, and severely...

For a first, the media should restrict itself to playing the analysis role and not develop 3D simulations of the incident and play Scotland Yard + RAW + Police etc...

siddharth said...

brilliant post. Bold n compassionate. Not much left for comments but gud job.
Even I wish I could do something and it has to begin from everyone.
N forget the media. They'll celebrate anything from murder to rape to suicides as long as they get their viewer's share.

Pallavi ahuja said...

Simply awesome!!!
This is a brave step by u to make those "victims" bold enough to raise thier voice against this 'tabooed' rape...

ALOK said...

the issue just touched goes far more deeper than the media, I think its the so called "Indian Society" responsible for this.
1. Why the girl be treated as impure?
2. How on earth can this news be masala for anyone(so that TRP's of news channels increase with this)?
3. Why not the news is presented in a manner such that focus is on culprit and the girl being there only to support the fact?
4. And even all this happened, why the hell the girl can live a simple life?

Through a thousand years of slavery our society(mentally) has declined far more than anything else. If any of the above raised question arises, it simply means its our Indian Society which is responsible for all this which can not teach its future generations that no sex is meant to dominate over other, its not the girl who is weaker but its us who cannot stop such a case to happen. Its the culprit who is impure and must be thrown out of the society.
Its our upbringing and our education, which cannot teach us that it is not a masala news, its serious issue to be dealt with genuine concerns.
Its the time we have to take the responsibility not only to raise the questions but to change the society so that parents can told their children that it is the man who is guilty, our education must teach us that such men are not meant to be part of society and it should be us who should not let the media increase its TRP's through such incidents, police should not make fun of the girl and must ensure that such cases must be dealt with urgency in courts.....

I thank you Prachi for making me realise how weak we had made ourselves.

ALOK said...

sorry its can't in place of can in 4th question.

ALOK said...

Well I have some more to say on this issue. I do feel there is great role of girls also in these unfortunate incidents. Again I will say a thousand years of being ruled by foreigners had moulded our society in a way where girls were too much suppressed(i mean to say girls ko bahut jyada dabaya gaya) and unfortunately instead of uniting and firing back more fiercely, girls had accepted it as their fate. Until unless each and every girl of this country will feel herself strong and powerful enough, everyone will come and dominate over them, whether her parents in home, people outside when she go anywhere(I don't know why many of the girls always walk with their eyes down, I don't know what they are afraid of), or their in laws after marriage. Until unless girl will show everyone their self confidence and inner power, koi bhi gali ka kutta himmat dikha de. Come on and smash these inhuman. Maybe girls on this thread can make it more clear, whether I am right or talking absolutely wrong.

Anonymous said...

dont take it as a joke when I say .... pepper spray (hey tht rhymed :P )
and u cant always blame the media, though they cross their own limits, but thats the way the rest of us get to know of such a mishap, and get furious, angered , enlightened ..... or whtever .....

and we always live life on luck ....... we depend on fate
sumthing bad can always happen, not just this
unfortunately, there isnt a way to get out of this dependence ......

Abhinav Malhotra said...

Great job.
News channels(esp. the newer ones coming up daily) should restrict themselves to being a impartial/non-judgemental news provider,and not play a role of moral judiciary.
And really as Kondy puts it,the 3-D imaging/graphic animation thing is a real shame.

kavita said...

i jus want to say........
even i wish i can do something.....
bt dont knw wat....

fr ppl its just a routine news bt fr the victinm its a trauma fr lyf tym....ppl say its tym to change the outlook of society, they protest through tv,newspapers, mags, blogs... even carry out peace marches n processions in search of justice....bt it does no gud.

the culprits hv been punished fr their wicked deeds bt dats jus once in a while case...
majority of the tym they move around freely in the society in search of another victim....

i wish i cud .........

Jagdish said...

Thats true prachi. What can anyone say or do? The Media gets a small thing and makes it humungous make the life of the victim a tradegy. As and individual no one can do nothing but we need to get together as humans, as a nation and as mankind to make this a safer place for everyone. so that the generations to come can live a happy life!!!

Rajeev Narayan said...

Its a true sharing-
Recently, I was sitting with an Inspector (SHO) of a well-known police station in new delhi. U know, the SHO says that Rapes have to happen and no law can prevent it... the body and the person has his biological needs... He justified rape at one go. Will write more in detail prachi, had a lot of experience dealing these cases.....

Nik said...

hey i have already commented on your blog long back! I did not know it yaar!!

We have interacted..! Cool...anyway, I just read this post (again!) and i would really like people to read this too:

http://thesoulwords.blogspot.com/2009/01/its-not-our-faultpart-i.html


and


http://thesoulwords.blogspot.com/2009/01/its-not-our-fault-part-ii.html


You too prachi. Read it. I dont know whether you read it earlier or not, but read it..! (Again!) :P :D


And now i need to rush for college, will continue with your blog after coming back... (Hope my classes are free.. :(...)

Jayati said...

To the author and the readers.

Without wasting anyone's time I would just like to focus on one thing.
All of us can do something. There are NGO's supporitng the cause. We need to fight. Against the ill minds who commit the crime. Against the ill minds who condone it. Against the media. We must join hands to passing and implementation of stringent laws, creating awareness about the issue, teaching young to protect themselves, and lots of other things. Please find out the different NGO's working in your area and collaborate with them. If not, make groups in your area of like minded people and organise awareness campaigns. If not, start online campaigns. Get moving people!! :D Let's make a difference.